Review: Is Sonic 4 you?

I've had a couple of days with this game since it was released for Wiiware. Since it was the earliest version of the game to be released anywhere, I was one of the first among many normal consumers to play through this game. This whore of a game, however, will be touching just about every other platform out there, including the iphone.

OH GOD

You might have had a good day. You might have even had a great day. But your day will not compare to mine, because you see, I finally have my copy.

You think you can dance?

Well, think again faggot. Your miserable attempts at rhythmic body movement is nothing compared to a God.
But not even a god can compare to this guru of dancing. Movements like these can't even be compared the the natural fluidity of H2-fucking-O. Don't even blink. This break-dancing prodigy makes the floor beneath him his bitch. You think you've seen art? You think you've seen anything that even closely resembles the magnitude of sheer genius displayed when this guy jigs on the dance floor? You don't know SHIT.

Shut up, and look at my videogame-related videos.

A lot of these are kind of old by now, but I thought it was worth sharing. If you play the vidya, chances are, you enjoy some vidya music. Being the immense faggot that I am, I made some song remixes of video game tunes, using only my voice. It's not as bad as it sounds.

Who would you trust?

My buddy who goes by the alias "Dojo" frequently tortures himself with rap music. Very often in fact. Even as I type this, he enthusiastically quotes the lyrics to his tunes -- much to his amusement. Classic lines, including:

"Yeah you boys are washed up, and I'm shittin' on 'em like 2 girls, and one cup."

and:

"I wish I never met ya, I wouldn’t wanna be ya. we some asshole niggas, ca-call us diarrhea"

Introduction

Now I'm going to introduce myself. I am a bee. I like video games. What kind of video games? Video games with realistic graphics, and physics. None of that kiddy stuff. Put away your mario/pokeman/polly pocket, and play a real man's game.

Like Halo.